Living Life Abundantly

I received this via email forward this morning and my jaw dropped!  All I’ll say is wow and can’t wait for your thoughts on this topic.

A little long but well worth the read.

Enjoy.

It seems that an article was written to Sister 2 Sister magazine by a Caucasian woman who requested a response from black men. I’m so glad she got what she asked for (and more) !!!

Dear Jamie:

I’m sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers.

I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don’t understand a lot of Black female’s attitudes about our relationship.

My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage.

Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don’t they look at themselves and make some changes.

I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we’re out in public. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them.

Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jo nes, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius , Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes…

I could go on and on. But, right now, I’m a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don’t be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I’m wrong, Black men, let me know.

Disgusted White Girl,
Somewhere in VA

RESPONSE:

Dear Jamie:

I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl.

Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta , Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful black men.

I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women. Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered easy.

The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone Who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls.

Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be More successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control.

I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women.

Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth ‘Babyface’ Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spotlight, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few.

I just don’t want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt , you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs.

Read your history!

It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery.

It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Black women were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise!

It is because of the black women’s strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them.

Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with black women.

I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don’t you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous?

I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has.

BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children.

Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill.

No offense taken, none given.

Signed,
Black Royalty

~~~~~~~~~UPDATE FROM MARENDA~~~~~~~~~~~
based on the above and the responses below

It seems to me the biggest mistake is to make sweeping generalizations and blanket statements about people. It’s one thing to have a preference and/or natural attraction but to just make assumptions and lump women into a category is nonsense.

I don’t have an issue with interracial couples. If you like it, I love it. To each his own.
Different strokes for different folks! No big deal!

What I do have an issue with is these broad generalizations being made specifically about Black women. Perhaps some of yall have been watching too much BET or TV period. Don’t Believe The Hype!

Not all Black women are:
Fat
Loud
Mean
Argumentative
Needy
Materialistic
Carry Excess Baggage

Not all Black women want:
A thug
A dope boy
A man’s money
To pop bottles in the club
To control, manipulate, and/or emasculate men

If these characteristics describe the Black women that you’ve encountered then it makes me wonder what in YOU attracts these type of women! Could it be your own excess baggage? deep seeded issues? low self esteem? shallowness? self hate? F.E.A.R. (False Expectations Appearing Real)?

I am a Black woman married to a Black man and I treat my husband like the king that he is…I put it down from the kitchen to bedroom and every place in between, all the while putting forth every effort to be kind, tender, understanding, caring, supportive, slow to anger, and I am more than happy to let him where the pants. (see proverbs 31)

There is no power struggle, we believe in the “team work makes the dream work” philosophy…we work together in all things! We communicate openly and honestly. I don’t always get my way (but he tells me it is his pleasure to see to it that I always get what I want and need and that feeling is mutual).

The generalizations are offensive because aside from myself I personally know Black women that do not fit the charge some are making.

As for “Disgusted White Girl” I’m disgusted by her need to hear from Black men as to why White women “are so appealing and coveted” by Black men.

Why is she seeking reassurance from Black men that White women treat them better than Black women? Sounds like she has some “excess baggage” that SHE needs to deal with.

For all the Black men she finds that prefer White women, there are just as many if not more White men that prefer Black women…

Running down a list of Black celebrities with White women is sooooo ridiculous. But I’m glad she pointed it out because the flip side of that is how many Black men (no matter how fine) that work at Trader Joe’s, the plant, UPS….are getting a 2nd glance or even a date with White women????? “Disgusted White Girl” is fronting I doubt her dating standards are equal opportunity. ALL women have some type of standards… and the standards of the women dating the celebs on her list have some common denominators I shouldn’t even have to point out. That’s another discussion…

“Disgusted White Girl” has it twisted. If she’s getting dirty looks and snide remarks she needs to consider the possibility of there being something about HER that is attracting that type of attention? The tone of her letter certainly suggests that she looks down on Black women (as a woman she should know a woman’s 6th sense and intuition can pick up on such vibes). Some of the women she’s encountering probably could careless that she’s with a Black man, they probably detect and detest her attitude and body language. She didn’t mention what kind of looks she’s giving the Black women when she’s out with Black men? If its the:

“Don’t be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better”

Its no wonder. Most likely her own thoughts, expectations, and insecurities are what’s creating the drama she perceives. Black women have enough to deal with than to be worried about a “Disgusted White Girl” somewhere in VA or about the Black men that let a few bad apples spoil the bunch for them lol.

Its ok if you have a preference but not ok to generalize or bash. It is never ok to put yourself on a pedelstal and look down on others

Just when I think that the McCain camp or its supporters have stooped to the lowest levels possible someone some where goes even lower…LIAR! LIAR! PANTS ON FIRE!

“Nothing is easier than self-deceit. For what each man wishes, that he also believes to be true.” ~Demosthenes

Ashley Todd, a McCain/Palin volunteer, jumped through hoops to get people to believe that a big Black Obama supporting man assaulted her and etched the letter B for Barack on her face…

She admits she made the whole thing up… What was her motive?

Some say its a sick twisted race baiting scheme.

Others say she’s a mole from the Obama camp and secret ACORN operative who was instructed to create a distraction.

The second theory, while not impossible but extremely unlikely, sounds like a poor attempt at spinning this out of this world. The Obama camp has had a great week why would they need to use this disturbed young lady to play nasty race baiting fear mongering politricks?

Ashley Todd’s big unoriginal lie fills America’s unhealed wounds with alcohol. Can you feel the burn?

When I first heard the story I was somewhat numb… but the more I thought about it, the more I thought about American history. We’ve seen and heard these types of lies many times before… two of the most infamous cases being:

Fannie Taylor 1923 (Rosewood)

Susan Smith 1994 (South Carolina)

Now here we have Ashley Todd in 2008… getting people all riled up with her nonsense!

Why do people make up such sensational stories and pin them on Black men? Stop lying!

I know that this young woman supposedly has a history of mental issues, however, that does not take away the sting in our already infected wounds. It seems like she knew exactly what she was doing. If she just wanted some attention, she’s got it…The McCain campaign made sure of that before the police could even verify her story… I hope she gets the professional help she most certainly needs just as fast.

I’ll be glad when this election is over its driving people insane.

“The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie — deliberate, contrived and dishonest — but the myth — persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.” John F. Kennedy

“The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie — deliberate, contrived and dishonest — but the myth — persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.” Virginia Woolfe

“People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.” Otto von Bismarck

This morning I learned that Sarah Palin was scheduled to be at the Home Depot Center in Carson. For those that don’t know Carson is next door to Compton! My first thought was “dog on it” …why is Sarah Palin in my back yard?

That folksie double talk and side stepping questions, is unacceptable in these parts. (wink)

The hardworking middle class majority Democrat folks around here, see straight through the McCain (McSame) Palin (Palies) campaign.

I cannot imagine Sarah Palin being welcomed here under any set of circumstances.

Why would they even come into known Obama/Biden territory?

Were they hoping to make a statement?

Well, Barack Obama & Joe Biden supporters like me, took this as an opportunity to send the McCain campaign a clear message:

Eight Is Enough.

We choose Change that We Can Believe In!

Did I go to the Home Depot Center? “You Betcha!” I headed to Carson with my mom, grandmother, and Malinda. We followed a caravan of fellow supporters from Compton and surrounding cities as far as Brentwood.

Upon arriving at the Home Depot Center in Carson, we were greeted by happy enthusiastic Obama/Biden ’08 supporters peacefully marching, chanting, and waving signs. We joined the crowd.

As McCain/Palin supporters arrived many shouted obscenities, others waved their middle fingers, some just gave us dirty glaring looks, while others were just visibly angry that we were exercising our constitutional right to protest. Many seemed shocked that we were even there.

I don’t know how they thought they were going to come in an extremely strong Democratic community and expect anything other than what they got! Sarah Palin is not wanted or welcome here so much so that they had to give away tickets because they couldn’t move them. A man with tickets told me they were initially going for $100+. Yes, I’m the bold chick in an Obama shirt approaching McCain supporters asking questions. I figure since we can’t get any straight answers out of McCain or Palin maybe their supporters would be willing to answer a few questions….

I was elated to run into some Iraq Veterans Against the War supporting the Obama/Biden ticket. McCain/Supporters were not as happy or amused. I was surprised to see and hear some of McSame’s people screaming at these young men (vets) that served our country in Iraq.

Apparently, these McCain supporting civilians knew more about the war then these guys that actually served in the war.

This guy actually told them to stop listening to mainstream media and do some research….I couldn’t believe it.

These guys were there on the front lines, they lived it, how much more research did they need to do?

This was my first time being in the midst of McCain/Palin supporters and it answered so many questions for me.

I had been wondering if McCain/Palin supporters actually believe the nonsense that comes out of their candidates mouths. The answer is yes, many of them do, even when presented with actual facts. I know, SCARY isn’t it.

After hearing racially charged statements from some of the McCain/Palin supporters, it confirmed what I already knew…for some people the issues don’t matter in this election because the real issue for more than most will admit is RACE!

The same people that were wearing shirts and carrying signs with the slogan “Country First” were the same people that were visibly seething with anger that we had the audacity and right to be at the Home Depot Center.

There was a report that an elderly black woman was knocked down, her Obama/Biden sign was taken from her and ripped to shreds earlier… I guess the “Country First” slogan didn’t apply to her. That didn’t even make the evening news.

I am thankful that I am able to participate in and experience these historic times firsthand. I don’t have to rely on history books or the news, as those accounts often leave out important details….

The news claims the stadium was full! I have seen that entire area more packed for sporting events. That stadium was not full of McCain/Palin supporters.

The news also showed a clip of like 10 Obama/Biden supporters on the corner of Avalon in front of the Home Depot Center but neglected to show or mention the hundreds of Obama/Biden supporters that were there at and around the metal detector entrances of the stadium.

I noticed that the news also failed to mention that there was an airplane circling above the stadium with a “Thanks but No Thanks Sarah Palin” sign. Thank God for blogs lol. I bring you the truth and my eyewitness account, check out these pictures.

*Note the first 27 pics are from today, the rest are from a rally on 9/20/08. My friend Malinda took videos today with her phone, when I get those I’ll post them too.

Race is usually a discussion that people shy away from. Not talking about a problem doesn’t make the problem go away… I’ve been waiting anxiously to see Meeting David Wilson on MSNBC. I saw it tonight! This is a must see for EVERYONE! Meeting David Wilson is a thought provoking tear jerking emotional roller coaster well worth the ride. I was stung by the question What is Wrong With Black People?…actually it still stings. It was interesting and hurtful to hear the answers given. The film makers set out to make a film that would get us to open up, talk, see things from other perspectives, self introspect, and learn. I think they did a good job.

I am left with a question… perhaps its a silly question, I’ll pose it anyway… I hear of Black people researching family history frequently. Do White people do the same thing? If not, why not? What would it be like for a White person tracing their family history that leads them to a connection with slavery? I don’t know what I would say if a White person called my house saying that they were researching their family history and discovered that their family owned my family etc…..

Do WE (all people) not know our families history because its painful and shameful? Are WE (all people) in a state of ignorance is bliss? Are the genealogical records to difficult to come by? Do WE (all people) care? Does it matter? How would knowing OUR history affect us now and in the future? I wonder… Ok, Meeting David Wilson left me with a plethora of questions.

Did you see it?

A people without the knowledge of their past history, origin and culture is like a tree without roots. —Marcus Garvey

I think its time for me to blow the dust off this “First Steps in Genealogy” book.

Click here to get the DVD, it’s $18.98.

“If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position.” — Geraldine Ferraro

For those that thought race was no longer an issue in America its been a rude awakening. While America has made great strides in race relations we still have a long way to go. I believe that despite how things may look, we are evolving, changing our thinking, and healing. It is not an easy or quick process but I see it happening. Is there a 12-step program for America’s race issues? Should there be one?

Senator Barack Obama’s speech on race in America courageously goes where people don’t want to go (at least it seems not in mixed company conversations for fear of political incorrectness). I think that many people forget (or don’t realize) that Barack Obama is biracial (he’s black and white). He identifies with way more people than Hillary Clinton and John McCain combined. So when people accuse the Barack Obama Campaign of playing the race card I think its ridiculous! Are there two race cards, a double sided race card, and/or a half and half race card and which one is his campaign supposedly playing?

“…I am the son of a black man from Kenya and a white woman from Kansas. I was raised with the help of a white grandfather who survived a Depression to serve in Patton’s Army during World War II and a white grandmother who worked on a bomber assembly line at Fort Leavenworth while he was overseas.

I’ve gone to some of the best schools in America and lived in one of the world’s poorest nations. I am married to a black American who carries within her the blood of slaves and slaveowners – an inheritance we pass on to our two precious daughters.

I have brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, uncles and cousins, of every race and every hue, scattered across three continents, and for as long as I live, I will never forget that in no other country on Earth is my story even possible.

It’s a story that hasn’t made me the most conventional candidate. But it is a story that has seared into my genetic makeup the idea that this nation is more than the sum of its parts – that out of many, we are truly one…” —Barack Obama

It seems that Barack Obama opposers are the race card playing culprits. Through imagery, symbolism, word play, clever semantics, and audacious statements the Clinton campaign has been using race card tactics since hmmmmm South Carolina. As an American I am ready for change. The more I see and learn about Hillary Clinton the more she represents the same. As a human being I am ready to embrace fellow human beings and breakdown racial divides, this is the change we need. Once again, Barack Obama demonstrates that he represents and believes in the very same change I believe in.

“…I chose to run for the presidency at this moment in history because I believe deeply that we cannot solve the challenges of our time unless we solve them together – unless we perfect our union by understanding that we may have different stories, but we hold common hopes; that we may not look the same and we may not have come from the same place, but we all want to move in the same direction – towards a better future for our children and our grandchildren…” —Barack Obama

Megan Williams is a Black woman who was kidnapped, kept in a shed, threatened, stabbed, beaten, sexually assaulted, forced to eat animal feces, forced to drink from a toliet, scalded with hot water, choked/tied with a cable cord, verbally abused with racial slurs, and tortured over and over for days by six White people.

Some say this was not a hate crime. Some believe it was not racially motivated. Allegedly Megan Williams knew one of the six kidnappers which somehow disqualifies this as a hate crime.

If race was not a factor why were racial slurs used repeatedly? If this was not a hate crime why was she tortured and abused like this? This is sick and twisted. What is happening in our world? Why are heinous acts of violence like this happening?

No federal hate crime charges in torture case

Six white suspects accused of torturing a young black woman for days in West Virginia will not face federal hate crime charges»

United States Slavery began in 1619 and was abolished in 1865. The ideas, attitudes, and beliefs formed prior to and during slavery about Black people did not end or disappear upon the abolition of slavery. Hence, the term US Slavery Residue. As defined by the dictionary, Residue = Something that remains after a part is removed, disposed of, or used; remainder; rest; remnant.

What exactly is this ‘residue’ and how… if at all does it affect us today? In order to answer that we must take a close honest look at American history with fresh new eyes. So few are willing to do that…Are you willing? Read the full story

The August 2007 cover of Esquire Magazine poses the question:
Can a white man still be elected president and features John Edwards on the cover.

I’m trying to understand the point of the question objectively but its pretty difficult to do so.

All 43 American presidents have been white men.

Have the blunders of our current president resulted in American voters being unwilling to support white male presidential candidates?

I doubt it.

Do Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama pose a threat to white male presidential candidates? Probably.

Can a white woman be elected president?

Can a black man be elected president?

History shows that a white man can be elected President over and over, from the inception of this country white men have been elected.

So really, whats the meaning behind Esquire’s cover?

Can a white man still  be elected president? Is the keyword still? Is this a subliminal call to action to preserve America’s 212 year legacy of white male presidents? Is there any legitimate reason people should be concerned as to whether or not a white man can still be elected president? Is there some sort of conspiracy or movement going on to some how oppress or discriminate against white men?

People often say that race is no longer an issue in America and that everyone is treated equally and fairly. Some believe we all have access to the same opportunities. If this is true, then why is it even a question as to whether or not a white man can still be elected president? Does the race and/or ethnicity of the next American President matter? If so, to whom and why?

I thought electing presidents was suppose to be about voting for the most qualified candidate.