“In the United States, a woman is raped every 6 minutes; a woman is battered every 15 seconds.” Amnesty International USA
When I was growing up I remember hearing “boys don’t hit girls.” Although I had seen otherwise, I still believed it to be true… or that it should be true. In fact, when I was growing up boys that hit girls were considered “punks” and the other boys didn’t respect them very much.
I wonder if people still say this to their children. I wonder how many people believe and live it…because whenever I turn on the news, talk to someone I know, or read a newspaper the report is opposite of “boys don’t hit girls.” Just the other day I was watching the news (something I try not to do because there’s hardly ever any good news) and I think my blood pressure shot up! I couldn’t believe my eyes. A police officer (full grown man) was punching an unarmed teenage girl! Couldn’t he have subdued her without punching her…because after all, boys don’t hit girls right? Especially not policemen.
I talked to a close family friend who teaches elementary school. Based on our conversation, not only do boys hit girls, at an early age (7) they are raping girls too! These are learned behaviors. Little boys are learning from somewhere that its OK to violate little girls…Are they seeing it in their homes (probably)…Are they seeing it in their neighborhoods (probably)…Are they seeing it on tv (probably, especially if they watch the news)…What happens when these little boys grow up? Do they become police officers?
Violence against women begins early and we have to figure out how to stop it. We cannot sit back and let little girls be victimized nor can we accept or allow grown women to be abused. Boys should not hit girls, hurt girls, or disrespect girls….Neither should men (but that’s something they should learn as little boys).
A man that hits a woman is a man that feels powerless and to regain his power he must strike, dominate, oppress, and/or violate someone weaker (physically) than him…the woman.
“Women experience about 4.8 million intimate partner-related physical assaults and rapes every year.” —National Center for Injury Prevention and Control
How do we stop this? I wish I had the answers. My hope is to at least make people more aware of the problem. Especially people with children. Because what we expose our children to will oftentimes shape who and what they are…. If your child is watching you get your butt kicked every day (or watching YOU kick butt), what impact do you think that will have on them?
“Growing up in a violent home may be a terrifying and traumatic experience that can affect every aspect of a child’s life, growth and development. . . . women who experience physical abuse as children are at a greater risk of victimization as adults, and men have a far greater (more than double) likelihood of perpetrating abuse.” —Family Violence Prevention Fund
According to the National Organization for Women, “Young women, low-income women and some minorities are disproportionately victims of domestic violence and rape.”
Based on the studies by the Bureau of Justice Statistics, “African-American women face higher rates of domestic violence than white women, and American-Indian women are victimized at a rate more than double that of women of other races.” I don’t know about you…but I get so tired of hearing about how African American Women face higher rates of stuff…not that I’d wish it on any other race of women but as Black Woman it certainly gets a bit exhausting and depressing even… Something has to change we can not allow this to continue.
EVERY woman deserves to live without fear or abuse. We are human and without us where would any of us be? We must learn to love and respect one another to begin Living Life Abundantly.
Boys Don’t Hit Girls===>Men Don’t Hit Women<===
To get immediate help and support if you or someone you know is being abused
call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
or the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673.
Very informative post, thank you! I have been teaching my sons to respect women since they were old enough to understand, hopefully they will carry those lessons with them into adulthood.
Wow! I didn't realize until watching the video-clip that you've shared that the policeman hit a bystander … not the original teenager that was causing the disturbance. Very poor police presence in my view. I was also astounded by the number of people using their phones to take pictures and vids of the event.
That being said … the statistics that you provide on young boys hitting and raping young girls is disturbing. I have a 10-year old son. One of his life lessons is that he is not to hit a woman. I've only hit one girl in my life … it was in junior high school on the bus … and she kicked my a$$ in the process (sigh).
I appreciate you for taking a current event and making a larger human rights issue from it. I hope that you will participate in this monthly Am I Not Human? blogging campaign again in the future.
I invite your blog readers to call for an investigation about growing number of US/Mexico border killings.
peace, Villager
You ahve quoted some horrifying statistics, I am shocked at the amount of abuse that seems to go on. What makes a man think it's ok to hit a lady? Or is it more a matter of men not being able to control their temper, resulting in violence which they know is wrong and deeply regret, but only when it is too late?
Ste
Thank you for sharing these statistics with us. I was actually just telling my boys "boys should not hit girls", I think raising your children with this in mind is very important. There is so much violence in the world today and there is an emphasis on violence being cool in movies and on TV, so yes its a battle for parents but its worth the fight.
Very interesting video! I have never seen this in public as this is common that man or boys hits girls. There have been many laws and ammendments passed by local court which is made to curb such incidences..But who cares for them!!
Every human being has right to live freely and do what is good under legal conditions. I believe that the time has came when world will be facing much hazardous problems. There is end of everything so will be the end of Earth.
To curb such incidents, media needs to popularize such issues so that government takes some strict actions against culprits. Many don't complaints of these issues due to their reputaiton and social problem…There should be some ways to deal against them and keep things private as much as possible..
The world is just getting sicker by the minute. And America is one of those god-forsaken places for women. Men such like the above should be severely punished ofr such demonic and shameful acts. Society has embedded such influential yet unfavorable thinking that seems difficult to put an end to. However, the selective few who still hold high regards for women and girls should strive harder to take a stand against this. But when the law is such, what other methods do we resort to?
I have seen this video recently even this is not happen in my country it has been talk and brings a lot of attention by our law legislator.
to strengthen protection to women by any kinds abuse and harassment.
Wow that really a police brutality. He got the nerve to bunch a women. hope the station commander
in charge of this must expel this abusive police and reorganise and review their protocol in capturing
women law offender
Really great article, keep doing the good work
I can't believe the gender bias displayed in these comments. The "boys don't hit girls" principle was a honourable virtue once upon a time. But since the social and political emancipation of women in the past few decades the rules have changed. GIRLS WHO DON'T HIT BOYS, WON'T GET HIT BY BOYS. Assuming the girls in the video were intellectually sound, its safe to say that they knew or should have known the likely outcome when you engage police officers in this manner (given the average police officers lack of university education and propensity to bully). If anybody hit me I would hit them back, boy or girl. If you don't want to get hit, keep your hand to yourself.
Soulboy I agree that the best way not to get hit is by not hitting…while there are many women that hit men there many more that don't and still get hit by men. This issue is not about gender bias or accessing who deserves to get hit…its about the abuse that women suffer at the hands of men.
The issue of women hitting men was also addressed here see: http://marenda.biz/2007/09/domestic-violence-batt…
As far as the video is concerned, yes the young lady should have kept her hands to herself but her pushing the officer and his punching her in the face in response to a push is OUT OF CONTROL!
Chris Rock did a stand up routine about hitting women…and how men just shouldn't do it regardless the reason….he said there's a reason to kick an old man down the stairs JUST DON'T DO IT!!!!
I don't think boys or men should hit girls period… and we should all keep our hands to ourselves because hitting is not the answer
Marenda, I'd like to point out to you that up until your comment, no one had expressed their views about this video in the context of "domestic violence". Your comment is well made, but untimely in this discussion. And, as important an issue as "domestic violence" is, we can hardly discuss it justly in this particular forum of typing and one paragraph replies. For the record, my previous comment was made solely in the context of hitting girls back that have had the nerves to strike me. What comes to mind is my years as a nightclub doorman. Where I have gotten into an altercation with a man and his girlfriend physically gets involved. In that situation, she gets hit. I stand by that.
gotcha Soulboy
Marenda, I've read some of your comments and I love your work. You're capably informed and if there's a man in your life, I hope he is as capable, or he may not last with someone as conscious as yourself. Speaking of capable men, the worst thing about this video is not the police officer's behaviour or the behaviour of the girls involved. It's the weak ass Black men who are standing around, watching and shooting videos while a white cop man-handles two sisters. In my mind, a helpless Black man is more offensive than a white man with administrative or police powers. Police symbolism has successfully crippled otherwise strong men. When one man in a uniform can render a whole group of people or a community helpless, its time to look at how we can empower ourselves. Dr. Kings way is fine, but my personality seems to favour the methods of Mr. X. So, to find a happy medium, I'm a law student. I can still kick some ass within the domains of the power structure and have the girls in the video home in time for dinner. That's how I chose to empower myself, so when I do step to a man or woman with power or authority I know what I'm doing. I will not be weakened by the system.
Thank you lol
Soulboy you are very right and I too find it disturbing that anyone could just stand there…but with so much police brutality including all of the unjustified shootings its clear why people are hesitant to take any physical action. I'm glad that people thought to at least video it. Its a step in the right direction because the more a person looks at it the more likely they are to really SEE, FEEL, & UNDERSTAND what's happening around us. Awareness leads to action (usually)…
The point you make about empowering ourselves is an important one. Can't say that I'm a big fan of turning the other cheek completely either (different strokes for different folks). My methodology would probably be more along the lines of Malcolm too or Bobby & Huey for sure! If we can shake off the docility/fear and get back to the spirit of the BPP's strategy for organizing/uniting the community and stopping police brutality through self defense and taking back our own streets things would be different. I believe an awakening is happening though…
This post is outstanding! Great job at highlighting the injustice men impose on women. Boys Don’t Hit Girls===>Men Don’t Hit Women<=== sums up what every parent or caregiver should be instilling in our young male youths. It must start from the time that toddler is on the playground and he knocks the little girl down because he wants to play in that area. If violence is stopped at the toddler age then maybe our jails won't continue to be overflowing with men who were never taught that "Boys Don't Hit Girls".
this is true, guys shouldn't put their hands on women, vice versa for women too, lolz
freaken idiot. Since when were women these godly creatures that were only capable of being innocent? If a woman comes at me with a nife, I'm not going to sit there and let her slash me in an attempt to be "politically correct", or otherwise fallow the ideals of the brain washing we get as kids. And when I do her arm or punch her face, I'm not going to feel dominate, I'm going to feel safe you fucking idiot. Also, the temper that you have as a 5 year old is the same as what you will have as an adult. It's genetics. WE MEN AREN'T THE EVIL HORRIBLE GODLESS BEING YOU FEMINISTS THINK WE ARE. JUST BECAUSE YOUR AN UGLY BASTARD THAT CAN'T GET LAID DOES NOT MEAN WE ARE HORRIBLE PEOPLE THAT WOULD TEACH KIDS TO HURT ANYBODY. NOW GO GET A LIFE.