Wow, time really flies and not just when you’re having fun. It seems like just yesterday that I was singing Christmas Carols clicking my heels thinking St. Nick would have my back. There must’ve been a mix up or some confusion. I know the North pole is extremely understaffed after all the layoffs…Unemployment in the North Pole is up to like what 80% ?

Anyway, when I called to verify receipt of my letter, I was routed to a call center in India…which was cool I guess… the nice gentlemen informed me that Santa’s workshop received my change of address from the post office in April. As far as confirming receipt of last years letter he couldn’t but insisted I participate in a customer service survey in which he wanted me to rate him a 10 (I did for karma sake).

Well this year, aside from posting on my world renowned blog (lol which has tanked on Technorati like the real estate market), I’m sending my letter to Santa through my old trusted pals at FEDEX; since this letter needs to absolutely positively get there… Plus I really need to clear up a few things with Santa and I’ve gotta do it quick.

Dear Santa,

You and I go waaaaaay back to what? Winter 1975?

I probably should’ve written this sooner …….but I guess my feelings were a little hurt. I can’t remember ever not getting anything from my list. This was a first for me.

As we get closer to the holidays I suppose that holiday spirit is swirling in the air (I’d rather catch that than H1N1). I honestly can’t really get into it totally….until I at least clear the air and keep it (as they say) 100 with you.

So here it goes…

I can’t help but notice how our relationship changed after my letter last year.

I don’t know if perhaps I offended you by leaving out fresh organic fruits instead of cookies and milk or if you were mad about my unapologetic admission to poking fun at Bush.

I was looking at your picture and thinking about some of the things (that I didn’t ask for) that you’ve brought me over the years….it occurred to me that perhaps you and I have differing opinions on some things… I could be wrong…. You know sometimes I tend to over analyze things…

If you were upset about the fruit, let me explain… I thought that a healthier snack would be in your best interest. Man cannot live off cookies and milk alone. But that’s just my opinion… PLEASE Forgive me for being presumptuous. Who am I to try to encourage you to eat different from how you’ve been eating for the last 1663 or so years. My bad, you’re obviously doing something right. This year I’ll have your cookies and milk waiting. If you call me at least an hour before you get to my house, I can have them hot out of the oven ready for you.

I always thought you were nonpartisan despite the red suit. After last year I’m questioning if that is indeed the case. Now I know this is a sensitive issue (my grandfather says not to discuss religion and politics with some folks, I don’t know if  “some folks” includes you).  I believe that religion is NOT much of an issue with us… but I can’t help but think that politics might be a hot button.  I can’t help but think that maybe you were a little upset with me for my views regarding George Bush and perhaps with my activities last year.

I’m almost certain that Sarah Palin can see the North Pole from her backyard (you guys are like neighbors perhaps good friends) which leads me to think that MAYBE you and I were on different teams last year. Look, I can understand you being upset that I was unwilling to apologize for the things I said about Bush. At the time an apology would have been disingenuous. However, now I understand and see that it was just down right mean spirited… and for that I am truly sorry.  I recently read in this good book that I should bless those that curse me and how I should forgive if I want to be forgiven….So I’m putting forth the effort to implement that in my daily routine.  If I offended you or disappointed you with my words I apologize.

As far as I know, you’re a man without a country so our political views shouldn’t be an issue…but IF they are can’t we agree to disagree? Isn’t there some sort of clause about that Santa?

I feel like this whole political thing is spinning out of control Red vs. Blue, Blue vs. Red (reminds me of Ice T’s song COLORS) … Families are politically split (Arnold & Maria)…friendships ruined (Lieberman and the Dems)…  Me and You…  Can’t we all just get along? Now again, I don’t really know if any of this is even an issue… I just wanted to let you know what I was thinking.

I was talking to my gram the other day and she was reminding me that my clock is ticking and I still don’t have any kids yet. The conversation immediately made me think of you. Why? Well, it occurred to me that your first priority when mapping out your route (from my experience as a FedEx courier I know about prioritizing routes)… You’ve got to get to those households with children first. I get that! I sure would hate to think that your making it to my house means you passing up a child’s house, that would be awful

The other thought I’ve been wrestling with is as I’ve gotten older my lists have gotten shorter. Perhaps I’m not giving you enough to work with…

Over these past 11 months all of the pieces have really started coming together.

Rumor has it you’re trading in the sleigh for a Prius. I always wondered how you fit everything in the sleigh, now I’m baffled as to how you’ll get everything in a Prius. Where there’s a will there’s a way.

The recession has hit everybody, some harder than others. I’m hoping you and the Mrs. invested in gold. I don’t mean to keep bringing up rumors, but the blogs are saying you may have lost some money with Madoff. Oh Santa I hope that’s not the case. I haven’t seen any pictures of you on MediaTakeOut.com so I’m guessing everything is ok.

Before I get into my list I have a request regarding Other People’s List

I know my list should technically be all about me but it would make me really happy if you would make sure the following folks get what’s on their list…. They’ve worked really hard and been REALLY good ALL year. It was really hard narrowing down the list of names so I can only imagine what you must go through….It took some work but I finally got it down to: My hubby, my mom, my grandparents, my siblings (this of course includes Terri and Mesha), JJ, Auntie April, Miece, Ladies of UGG!, My In-Laws, My Godparents, Niko, Vision, Dan, Lisa, Julie, Susan, Asha, Ms. BeBe, Ginger, The mailman, My BFF’s, My fourth grade class, My Godchildren, Barry, My eleventh grade English teacher, SBN, P-PHI, The people that faithfully read my blog, My Facebook friends, Kelly, Leila, TC, Emily, My niece, my nephews, my cousins, my aunts, my uncles, my sister’s roommates, Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow, Drew, my cousin’s boyfriend’s sister’s baby’s daddy mother, and YOU. I know every year I’m like “give me give me give me”….I know you have needs and wants too and I hope this year and every year after you get everything you want need and deserve

With that being said here is my 2009 List (*note there are some repeats from previous years. I don’t have room for the pony yet so I’m not including it this year):