You probably already have some gut-level understanding about what I’m about to tell you. But you have no idea just how powerful these methods can be for decreasing social anxiety symptoms if leveraged correctly. Read on.

Laughter reduces psychological tension (in the mind and brain) as well as physical tension (the shaky sensations, the tight stomach, the churning stomach, the racing heart, and the sweating and blushing reactions that come from the natural fight or flight response). When you have social anxiety, your fight or flight stress response gets activated in situations that your brain automatically labels as dangerous (dangerous only to socially anxious people because our brains put a high priority on making the right impression and not being scrutinized or negatively evaluated by others). If you suffer from excessive amounts of social anxiety, you have probably had the experience of “trying to not be anxious,” to no avail. If you are particularly introspective, you may have even noticed that mentally trying to be less anxious makes you more self-conscious and more anxious. It just doesn’t work.

What doesn’t work is telling yourself that you “shouldn’t” be having social anxiety in a given situation. If you walk into a party scene and start feeling nervous and shaky (or start staring at the floor and feeling uncomfortable about making eye contact), it won’t help to tell yourself to “get over it,” and it won’t help if you try to use logic to stop feeling nervous. The parts of your brain that cause those nervous sensations don’t respond to logic.

So what’s the solution? You need to get your mind to stop watching yourself. It’s called mind-sight and it’s that tendency to observe yourself through other people’s perspectives that triggers your mind to sound the “danger” alert. Laughter will dramatically reduce this only if it gets your focus onto other people. Here’s one way that works. You take the situation you are in that is making you nervous, and you imagine something happening that is very bizarre. Then you imagine what other people’s reaction would be to that situation. For example, let’s say you are nervous as you walk into a large room for a social gathering of some sort. You feel as if everyone’s eyes are on you as you walk into the room. You feel your eyes glued to the floor (you know, that feeling that doesn’t show up with your best friend or your sibling). So you imagine yourself walking in with the biggest snake you’ve ever seen and unwrapping the snake from your body to put it down on the floor in the large room of people. Next, imagine the looks on people’s faces. If it causes a small smirk, you’re on the right track. It’s putting your brain in different mind-state that will reduce social anxiety tension. If you don’t smirk, keep thinking till something strikes your funny bone. Imagine that two people walk in behind you wearing a gorilla mask and scooting along on skateboards, only to trip and fall on their faces. Again, vividly see the reactions you might expect on the faces of the people in the room. You will begin to loosen up automatically.

They secret here is that you want to think of the absolute most bizarre situation that you can, while still linking it to the situation that is making you feel nervous. Then focus on what other people would look like (instead of what you look like to them). What I have described here is just a weak version of the powerful methods unleashed in a course that I recommend you study. It’s a system of incredible ideas packed into a course that you can find a link to on my website, http://www.anxiety-counselor.com/improving-social-anxiety.html

So how do you use anger to overcome shy, anxious feelings? Anger is the opposite of the self-conscious fear that you have come to dislike so much. Social anxiety symptoms respond rapidly to anger. Don’t worry, you are not going to appear angry to others. People with social anxiety symptoms are generally the most kind and gentle people you’ll meet. What seems like excessive hostility and confidence to you, will actually be the average range from everyone else’s perspective. The easiest way to use anger and excessive confidence is to channel it. By this I mean you think of someone you know who is always aggressive and overly self-confident, and then you imagine that you are them and play out how you would react to your current situation if that was true. You think and feel like they would think and feel. Use your mind’s hologram to decrease your social anxiety symptoms by visualizing yourself in a world where you were not the kind of person who dropped your gaze, backed out of the spotlight, or otherwise hid from confrontation. The impact of this method will depend on how vividly you create the hologram version of events in your mind. To learn more about how to use these methods in real life, try studying a course that focuses on mental games specifically targeted for people with social anxiety. Check it out by visiting http://www.anxiety-counselor.com/improving-social-anxiety.html

Be Courageous and Fearless!

Dr. Todd Snyder