The first step to winning over an ex is to figure out why they dumped you in the first place. A lot of the time it was because your ex couldn’t (or didn’t want to) put up with certain things you did anymore.

If this applies to your break up, you need to accept this. You need to identify what those behaviours were and avoid them, permanently and for real. A superficial show verbal promises that “I’ve changed” is not enough for your ex.

For one thing, your ex won?t believe you. No one changes fundamental aspects of themselves overnight. For your ex to even consider giving you a second chance they need to believe that change is real and lasting.

You need to be able to provide solid proof to your ex that you are making a genuine effort to change and be a better you. For instance, reading books, researching for help online, taking classes or even therapy.

You will only be able to do this if you are actually putting forth a concerted attempt to make a difference. You’ll be happy to do this, if you’re serious about wanting your ex back.

Another thing, should you be able to obtain an additional oppotunity via the simple appearance of chang,e it won’t be sufficient to hold it together. You ex will turn away from you again if the old problems come up again- and normally the problems do come back.

They will feel tricked, betrayed and foolish. Again, I will be saying, “I want my ex back.” Of course you already had one opportunity, and you screwed it up royally.

The other reason is more important than getting a round two with your ex, and that is making change for yourself.

The problems with your ex are rooted in emotions and behaviors that probably affect other parts of your life. For example, the feeling of being jealous has origins in feelings of poor self-esteem as well as insecurity, resulting, not so obviously, in trouble on your job or in your relations with friends and family.

By putting your own emotional needs first, you will end being a healthier and happier person, which will help you attract the right kind of person, someone who is far more likely to get a second chance with their ex, and get them back for keeps.

Your ex will have more respect for you and your efforts than if they were simply part of a master plan to get a second chance.

Ricardo D Argence (Posts)