When I was growing up there was a commercial that every little girl and woman knew word for word and it still rings til this day. Men and boys are also very familiar with this commercial. I would even dare go as far as to say that this commercial may have helped shaped their opinions and ideas about women…..I’m sure you remember these lyrics:
I can bring home the bacon…
fry it up in a pan…
and never let you forget
You’re a Man….
Cause I’m a Woman!
The commercial paints the picture of a woman/wife/mom that maintains a successful career and happy well taken care of home/family life. This Super Woman cooks, cleans, nurtures her children, works full time, and pleases her husband. She never gets tired because she’s a 24 hour woman that can literally do it all! Well she was doing all of this back in the 70’s early 80’s…
The question today is does this wonder woman still exist, did she ever exist, or is she just an urban legend or mythical character from childhood?According to Damon Wayans during an interview on The View, “Women today don’t want to do the fundamentals.” This statement has fueled the fire to a long standing debate between men and women about roles, responsibilities, and expectations in relationships.
I think there are some relationship fundamentals that both men and women need to grasp, embrace, and integrate into daily living. When it comes to cooking and cleaning I think both men and women should know how to manage a home.While many men feel that regardless if a woman works full-time or not that it is a woman’s job to cook, clean, manage the home, and take care of the children… many women feel that these responsibilities should be shared. Men often say thats why there are so many single women. Maybe that’s true. The single women that I know are looking for partners.part·ner
| 1. | a person who shares or is associated with another in some action or endeavor; sharer; associate. |
A partner helps, shares, and supports. Partners work together. Partners are team players that understand the dynamics of teamwork. Since most men are into sports it seems like the team concept and marriage/relationships would click… I don’t know much about sports but I know that Jordan didn’t always make the shot other team members had to step up to help win all of those championships.
Relationships require teamwork. One of the reasons divorce rates are high is because not everyone is a team player. Some people are bench players (they never make the starting line up and rarely come out to play but they reap all of the rewards of being on the team). There’s always the star player that thinks the team revolves around them.
A man that has worked 8 hours wants to come home to a hot meal, a beer, and the game.
A woman that has worked the same 8 hours is expected to come home and put in another 8 hours preparing dinner, washing dishes, folding laundry, retrieving beers, getting the kids ready for school in the morning, and throwing down in the bedroom.
That’s crazy! If a “good women” is suppose to be like the super chic in the old school Enjoli commercial, I guess finding a “good” woman these days might be hard.
Why should a woman have to wear all of those hats if she has partner that can help?
Is a woman expected to make her man’s life easier while making hers difficult?
Is it too much for a woman to ask her partner to take her out to dinner (or make dinner) 2 days out of her 7 day week?
Has a woman over stepped her bounds by requesting her man perhaps unload the dishwasher once or twice a week?
Men and women must come up with a playbook or system that works for the entire
team. Relationships are Give & Take and a balancing act of giving and taking. A person that Takes Takes Takes and takes more than they give will reap the rewards of taker not a giver. Most women by nature are givers and will do what they can to please their man. Some men know this and take advantage. Good woman is not hard to find, finding a good man that can appreciate her and treat her as a partner might be another story (smile)
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24 Responses to “A Good Woman Hard to Find?”
Living Life Abundantly Adventures
I completely, 100% agree with you that responsibilities should be shared and that men and women would be completely equal in relationships. Growing up I watched my mom cook and clean and do all the stereotypical things housewives do and I’m positive I asked her a couple times why she always did it and my father never did any of the cooking or such. I think she said she enjoyed it but it always bothered me a bit.
The important thing is that both sides are happy.
I think Men and women must come up with a system that works for the entire team. Relationships are Give & Take and a balancing act of giving and taking. Thanks for this blogs.
I thought women by nature are givers and will do what they can to please their man. Good woman is not hard to find, finding a good man that can appreciate her and treat her as a partner. I really appreciate this blogs.
There are many good women available! But as I recall, it was women who re-wrote the rule book. Both men and women get to decide on which ‘team’ they will play. It’s simple. The women who do not want to ‘do the fundamentals’ will not be playing on the same team as Damon Wayans. At the end of the day, you’d better know the rules before you join the team!
I have to agree. Good article. Keep it up
Finding good women is a bullshit. I belive good is a thing which lies in everyone. Our duty is to find the good in us. No matter it is a man or woman. every person should find the good in him/her and bring out the good to the partner.
Great article. It was nice reading your blog. Keep it up .
Based on my own experiences,women who are currently in a committed relationship have a legitimate complaint about pulling a 16 hour day, while the man pulls 8 hours.There are many men such as myself who are able, willing and who manage a household.
However, the available American woman are being brainwashed into thinking that unless the man is a metro-sexual, less than 4% bodyfat, six figure income, cooks, cleans, provides her multiple orgams nightly, is a positive role model for the children and not interested in cheating; she should wait for Mr Right. Unless you live in a soap opera or romance novel ; I can assure you that this man is not out there.
Undoubtedly men can and should do more than we do for the women in our lives. But countless millions of women and children are alone because of the delusion that has been sold to them.
I am so one-sided that it is impossible to find a woman for me. Not so much that I am Old School, age 61, but I am handicapped by things I never learned to do, such as cook for myself. My cooking skills are deadly. My house management skills depends on how preoccupied by more immediate priorities, and I have never been fond of cleaning house. I am as combative as a Bengal tiger, but gentle as a lamb. I am an old African warrior who can go days without food. There is no woman for a man who stands on the front line of combat from dusk to dawn, day in and day out. My place is to fight for a place in society, where we are respected, employed for our worth, and treated fairly before the system of justice. My ears are closed to petty squabbling and nitpicking.
Thanks for the post.
I do agree with you. As the world becomes so crowd, we need to think of good people. At the same time, finding a good women is just a matter of luck!
It seems to me that most women have a “what’s-in-it-for-me” attitude. Some women want the best of both worlds. They want equal respect and treatment that a man would receive yet at the same time they want to be treated like a lady. It seems that women of today do not value or respect other women that work at home cultivating and nuturing the family and running household affairs. I believe it to be one of the major reasons for the deterioration of society as we know it today. I’m so thankful that my woman is ALL WOMAN and a REAL WOMAN. Nothing makes her happier than to see the smile on my face when she presents the dinner she made with her own hands for my enjoyment. She doesn’t feel less than because she works from the home. She takes pride in how well she takes care of her man. In return, I pay all the bills and provide her with whatever she requests as it is my honor. I kiss her no less than 100 times a day…I know you probably don’t believe that but its true…she’s so adorable that I cannot resist. It makes it so much easier to be monogamous when you have a REAL WOMAN and a GOOD WOMAN that’s truly as devoted to you as you are to her. Most women feel all they have to do is just look good, and what’s yours is theirs and what’s theirs is theirs. That’s why there are so many single women out there. This questions is for the fellas…How many FINE women do you see out there that have everything except a man? I think that sums it all up.
wow “I’m so thankful that my woman is ALL WOMAN and a REAL WOMAN.”
You make some great points “what’s yours is theirs and what’s theirs is theirs. That’s why there are so many single women out there.” I think that it can be also said that some women are seeking perfection when they themselves are not perfect. As it relates to women working outside of the home some make more $, work more hours and consequently their expectations are different with regards to roles/responsibilities in household affairs. It seems that when this is the case there is a struggle for power. Unfortunately it seems that women who wear both the pants and skirt get so caught up in what they bring to the table (financially/materially) that they emasculate men and lose sight of what relationships are really about. Stripping a man of his dignity, self respect, and manhood is a recipe for disaster. It all comes down to mutual love, respect, and friendship.
I think Alicia Keys put it down in her song If I Ain’t Got You but for many it just boils down to Ain’t Nothing Going On But The Rent!
PROVERBS 31:
10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
prov. 31. great conclusion, settles the argument for me. a woman like that would definitely find the christ like love in a man…..and more. like the bible says ‘love your wife like christ loves the church and gave himself for her’…i guess its easier to give oneself for her, if she’s a true wife like that described in prov 31.
Wow, good topic and great conversation.
This all started with the TV commercial, I really believe that TV is raising our children these days in a lot of households, this leads to a very twisted set of values and impressions controlled by marketers and profit, not family and community motivated people.
In my life I have found an awesome woman, we both run businesses. We hired a house keeper for 20 hours a week, and it has worked so well for our family. My wife should not be spending her time on nickel jobs when she can be out making dollars, and achieving her dreams with her business (Mary Kay). You simply have to think bigger and take some risks to live abundantly.
Also, I treat my wife the way I want to be treated, and it’s reciprocated.
Divorces are caused by selfish people. All you have to do is treat each other unselfishly, and solve problems. Once you have that, dare to archive more, and take some risks. Do that + Invite god into your family, and you will live abundantly.
My two cents, thx for the great blog!
Those times are long gone. Most women are looking for a man with money and not looking to do anything in there life but buy clothes and materials. A lot of men are the same way too! This society is so materialistic now it makes me sick!
It has to come down to the individual couple. Some woman may be fine with doing domestic work by themselves without help; I’ve seem women that would become angry if you ‘got in their way’ (a.k.a. tried to help).
Others would rather split the responsibilities more evenly. In the modern world it seems, like everything else, there is no true right or wrong.
Divorces are caused by selfish people. All you have to do is treat each other unselfishly, and solve problems. Once you have that, dare to archive more, and take some risks
Great article to read about…In my opinion men and women should follow some system to maintain each others relationship
Good women are not hard to find, just hard to keep if you dont act right. lol
I really enjoyed this post!
My parents were married for 60 years, and it was always a joint effort – they both worked, they both cooked, cleaned and did everything together!
My wife and I have been married 21 years this month, and it’s a joint effort. We both work, we both cook, clean and do everything together…
Proverbs 31 was a good way to round off the post. I have always maintained that to find the Prov 31 woman, a man has to be the Prov 31 man.
To do that, he needs to take heed to the message ‘male by birth, man by choice…’
Have a great new year!
Its teamwork for sure. But you need to enjoy the teamwork for it to work out!
I do and have always had success in relationships with people around me.
I believe allot of woman are full of Sh*** and completely delusional and unrealistic with their expectation when it comes to relationships and men. Woman want all of the benefits of equality but none of the responsibility. Look If I bust my ass at work all day the last thing I’m going to want to do is cook and clean when I come home if my wife, girlfriend (water ever ) is of the “stay at home” variety, (I go out make the money, she stays home cooks and cleans period) This whole idea that men work 8+ hours then he is expected to come home help her with the house chores is outrageous!, First lets set the record straight shall we? Most men don’t just put in 8 hour days most men put in 80 hour work weeks most men are out in the field or chained to a desk to earn a living and they typically work till they die, (most men never make it to retirement!) Men bust their asses and bring home ” the bacon” but when we ask our “partners” to “fry it up in a pan” we are some how assholes?…… I’m sick and tired of listening to woman bitch and complain about how much work it is to keep a house in order or to manage their bratty offspring. Most men because of their work schedule don’t get to spend nearly the amount of time they would like with their kids, and I think that is very sad. The majority of his time is spent making money while she stays home and experiences the joys of motherhood. This ” arrangement” if you really critically think about it actually is not fair to men, and a lot of men are beginning to take note of this imbalance and resenting it.
Ah! ha! that just for cool. Every sexy women love to go all around it food quality, I guess it goes with good food at dinner and very hot Lingerie dressup which make every women feel better and confident . Nice reading for every one!
correct! Good woman is not hard to find, finding a good man that can appreciate her and treat her as a partner might be another story .
for me. a found sexy to man when he knows how to manage the house like for example, cleaning the house, wash the dishes, cooking, and etc.